Dear Diary,

Pretty pooped today! We had a late night a couple of nights ago and it would appear my aging body cannot cope with it anymore! So today has been filled with food’s I instantly regret eating – which leads to overthinking of where my need to look like “I think I should” comes from….I’m fully aware of where it comes from, but that’s a whole other package to unwrap another day because I’m too tired…although in my overthinking ways today I did a video journal, which I do quite often and I found a revelation as to why I feel so unfulfilled career wise….moral of the story is if you are someone who has a childhood dream, you are sure of it, like I was and you don’t end up living it, you need to find the blessings in the course correction your life took, because otherwise you will forever feel lost and unsure why. Today I realised the external influences I had no control of that led me to look for all the wrong things, in all the wrong places, but led me to a life I could never have dreamed and never knew I wanted. I can now make peace with this emptiness that has plagued me as I realise it was filled with lots of amazing things, I couldn’t possibly have envisioned for myself. Sidenote – also now have 3 names cemented into my list of “toxic relationships I need to let go of” as a result of this revelation.

Anyway, tiredness has got the better of me and in order to function as best as possible whilst here at the shop, I need to focus all my energy reserves in getting through the rest of the day and closing the shop on time to get home in good time.

Gratefully Yours

B x